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Mogwarts-School of the Dark Arts and Bastardology

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[Jun. 5th, 2004|08:37 pm]
Mogwarts-School of the Dark Arts and Bastardology

mogwarts

[chiba_usako]
Dearest Mogwarts Students;

It has come to my attention ; http://www.livejournal.com/community/do_me_profsnape/ if i find the perpetrators of this henious crime against bastardology they will certainly become well,,, crucio-d at once. Also I have come accross a list entitled "Ways to Annoy Snape" i am certain that potter runt is the author. Enclosed is a list of things that are absolutely forbidden this semester.

Charm his hair into dreadlocks.
Get a hose. Corner him. Spray him down. Run
Get a tattoo. One that says 'Sevvie' Insist it has nothing to do with him
Owl him long and detailed accounts of your summer holidays.
Dress like him and dye your hair black. Refer to yourself as 'mini-snape'
Leave a well-worn and sickeningly cute teddy-bear where it can be easily seen by staff and students. Ensure it has a tag, written in a child's hand, stating that he 'belongs to Severus' and is called 'Chuckles'
If you're a sneaky Slytherin, slip him a potion that makes him sing everything he says to the tune of 'I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts
draw a lightening-bolt scar on his forehead when he's asleep
Nickname your quill 'Snapie' and talk to it during class
Grab some friends. Surround him. Sing the entire soundtrack to Moulin Rouge.
Smile at him. All the time.
Publish a newsletter detailing his life and everyday activities. Call it 'The Daily Snape'
Ask him why he saved Harry Potter. Ask him every day
Knock over your cauldron, spill it everywhere and shout 'Surf's up, Sir!'
Clap noisily when he finishes telling someone off'
When he's teaching, say 'Delicious' or 'Scrumptious!' after every ingredient he lists off.
Form a cheerleading squad. Make up a dance and chant for him. Follow him around
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: captiveaudience
2004-06-06 12:42 am (UTC)
Professor,
Oh my badness... that community is horrific. and potter's list is even worse than that creature in the glass jar that sits above your display case of bastard glory...
Loathe,
emajane
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[User Picture]From: splinched
2004-06-30 08:35 pm (UTC)

How very funny.

The wickedness is amusing. I congratulate you.

Regards



Splinched
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